Unicorn Pirates and Breeding Velociraptors

(I'm helping Journey take notes for a project she's doing on sea turtles.)
Me: Make a section named 'Diet' and write what they eat. Like algae and pork chops.
Journey: They don't eat pork chops, mommy.
Me: You do the same thing with habitat, age, and so on. So for like 'Predators' you'd want to write like sharks and unicorns.
Journey: Unicorns?!
Me: Unicorns are the biggest known threat to the sea turtle population.
Journey: No they're not!
Me: Okay, fine. Pirates, then.
Journey: Mommy!
Me: Unicorn pirates?
________________________________________

David: When I grow up I want to ride a dragon to my place of employment and my dragon will ride a rainbow to his place of employment.
__________________________________________

David: Mom, I've made up two new characters. Roger and his pet, Bob the Psychedelic Chicken. Roger has many professions.
Journey: Like what?
David: Nuclear physicist, secret agent and velociraptor breeder just to name a few.
Me: Velociraptor breeder?
David: Don't ask.
Me: Oh no, I think he should wear the bee keeper hat with the netting.
Journey: But that wouldn't do any good to protect him.
David: That's the point, Journey. It's random. He only gets attacked once every few months.
Me: Only during velociraptor mating season?
David: Pretty much.
Me: There should be a scene where he's looking at a big meal calendar. He should say "All right boys, lets see what you guys are having for dinner tonight." The calendar should have the real meal scratched out and written in red crayon it should say 'Roger' and the Velociraptors should be seen through the windows laughing.
David: Then Roger would send out Bob, the Psychedelic Chicken! Bob would open the door and the next thing you'd see would be the raptors hiding in the trees.
Me: The raptors would hide from the chicken? Are we talking evolution, here?
David: Yes, yes we are. And Bob can breathe fire. That's evolution, too.
Me: Oh, Bob the Psychedelic Fire Breathing Chicken, gotcha.
_____________________________________________

David: Mom, do you know what I really need? Glasses without lenses. That way I can look dignified and intelligent when I'm reading and stuff.
______________________________________________

Journey (to a random bug that is getting too close to her outside): I don't like you. And you know what? I bet your own mother doesn't even like you either.
________________________________________________

David: I'm trying to shoot lasers out of my eyes, but it's just so hard.